Cougars and Dirty Old Men

In your opinion, what is an "acceptable" age difference in a romantic relationship? Obviously, the priority is that the two individuals love each other and get along, but it's hard not to take note of how old each person is, especially if the difference is a marked one. Could you date someone twice your age? How about half your age? Does your answer to that depend on if you're male or female?

In an age when "cougars" (women who date younger men) are on the rise but still viewed with a hardened societal gaze, it's clear that gender norms have not evened out in this respect yet. Older men are still often seen as sophisticated, aged but in the sense of a fine wine, not a nasty cheese. Women in an older age bracket fall into the cheese category, not necessarily the Merlot. Much of women's sex appeal is tied to age and youth, unfortunate as that is since the fact of the matter is everyone gets older, and there's not a botox needle or liposuction tube that can stop that.

Thinking about my personal experiences, I seldom dated people who weren't my age, and the largest age difference is in my current relationship (a four-and-a-half-year difference). Dating someone younger was always out of the question because of maturity issues, and dating someone above that 5-year threshold would have just given me the creeps, I think. There's a reason why Oedipal complexes resonate with psychoanalysts even to this day, and it's easy to see how large age differences in romantic relationships could trigger that. Be that as it may, there are many people who enjoy a sizable age difference with their partner, and it bothers them not one whit. In fact, it works just dandy for them.

Obviously there's a lot more going on in a relationship than one's age, but age differences can certainly impact common interests and activities, as well as basic comfort levels within the relationship. At the end of the day, age is extremely relative, and it's best to keep that in mind when confronted with relationships that may seem strange age-wise at first glance--what makes a relationship tick is not on the surface and can't be spelled out in numbers.