Reuniting with "I Love Lucy"

After becoming reacquainted with some long lost episodes of I Love Lucy after a long unintentional hiatus, I've come to appreciate Lucille Ball's profound comedic and acting gifts all over again. Her expressions are priceless, her delivery is always on the mark, and she is both hilarious, annoying, endearing and lovable all at once. Perhaps I see aspects of myself in her, as many women and even men probably do, such as her devious grins while hatching a plot, her "bawls" of disappointment or fear of getting chewed out, her sheer determination to see a plan through (no matter how poorly thought out), and her ability to fight and make-up with those closest to her with no hard feelings whatsoever--and that's just scratching the surface.

A few other things I noticed this time around:

-Ricky is actually understandable when he goes on about something in Spanish (I think the problem was I just didn't understand Spanish when I was a child...).
-Sometimes the show contains some gender stereotyping that's to be expected for the time period (such as Lucy being expected to be happy as a stay-at-home mom), whereas often the show breaks with gender stereotypes for the sake of humor and possibly to promote other messages as well (like when Lucy tells Ricky he should spend his hard-earned vacation staying at home with her and taking care of their son, rather than going golfing and living it up with the boys).
-Everyone rags on Ethel for eating so much and maintaining a "fat" appearance when in reality she doesn't look particularly overweight at all by today's standards (or are we now more tolerant of her size because we see such extremes?).
-I wondered how many Latino actors were on a successful prime time show before 1951 (when the show first went on the air), and whether Desi Arnaz helped pave the way for actors of more diverse ethnicities to take center stage on popular shows after I Love Lucy aired.
-The "sleeping in separate beds while married" act still cracks me up.
-All four main characters are fantastic actors--even if the lines or plot lines are cheesy at times, they group still manage to pull of the episodes with style, one of the reasons the show's popularity continues even today.

A Different Kind of Job Interview

One thing I recently learned: job interviews in the restaurant business are a far cry from most other types of interviews I've witnessed. For my current job, I was interviewed by 6 different people. For a different position I applied for at the same time, they wanted to set up an interview for me with 10 (count 'em) 10 folks. The interviews I've had have always been very formal, requiring appropriate dress, my CV, at least three references, and so on. The interviews also drag on for hours at a time.

The few restaurant industry interviews I've witnessed have been completely different. There's no dress code, if you bring your CV then good on ya but no one will blink twice if you didn't bring one, and the chats with the head kitchen staff take 15 minutes at the most. Most people delve into your background and skill sets, but there's nothing intense or in-depth about the experience from what I can tell (although that probably depends on the position you're applying for). Obviously one needs to present themselves professionally and fit the criteria that the restaurant is looking for. I just recall how shocked I was at the flow, content, and time span of the restaurant interviews I was lucky enough to see because they were so unlike anything I had ever experienced. I kind of like that "badabing badaboom" interviewing style, and although I'll probably never experience that for myself, I can appreciate the simplicity of those meetings and the quick eye people must have to be able to size up a candidate in such a small amount of time.

Indecent Proposal

Why do some people feel the need to subject themselves to public humiliation? In particular, I'm referring to the guys who decide that it would be a super ingenious idea to propose to their girlfriends at some type of sports stadium. The first time, people probably thought, "Hey! What an original and romantic guy!" Hopefully the gal said yes, which often helps. However, now it's such a cliched way of proposing to someone, thousands of pairs of eyes are on you, you're probably also on national television, so what's to actually like about that kind of proposal?

You can't help feeling bad for the poor schmoes who muster every single ounce of courage to put their dignity on the line in front of a packed crowd, only to be totally rejected and their pride stomped on for the world to see by the would-be fiancee. I have to say, on the one hand, they guy is kind of asking for it with such an inopportune proposal setting. On the other hand, flat-out rejection is never easy to watch if you have any shred of empathy for other people.

Take that as a lesson guys--if there are lots of sweaty men running around trying to score points of some kind, it's probably not the right time to pop the question.

Cougars and Dirty Old Men

In your opinion, what is an "acceptable" age difference in a romantic relationship? Obviously, the priority is that the two individuals love each other and get along, but it's hard not to take note of how old each person is, especially if the difference is a marked one. Could you date someone twice your age? How about half your age? Does your answer to that depend on if you're male or female?

In an age when "cougars" (women who date younger men) are on the rise but still viewed with a hardened societal gaze, it's clear that gender norms have not evened out in this respect yet. Older men are still often seen as sophisticated, aged but in the sense of a fine wine, not a nasty cheese. Women in an older age bracket fall into the cheese category, not necessarily the Merlot. Much of women's sex appeal is tied to age and youth, unfortunate as that is since the fact of the matter is everyone gets older, and there's not a botox needle or liposuction tube that can stop that.

Thinking about my personal experiences, I seldom dated people who weren't my age, and the largest age difference is in my current relationship (a four-and-a-half-year difference). Dating someone younger was always out of the question because of maturity issues, and dating someone above that 5-year threshold would have just given me the creeps, I think. There's a reason why Oedipal complexes resonate with psychoanalysts even to this day, and it's easy to see how large age differences in romantic relationships could trigger that. Be that as it may, there are many people who enjoy a sizable age difference with their partner, and it bothers them not one whit. In fact, it works just dandy for them.

Obviously there's a lot more going on in a relationship than one's age, but age differences can certainly impact common interests and activities, as well as basic comfort levels within the relationship. At the end of the day, age is extremely relative, and it's best to keep that in mind when confronted with relationships that may seem strange age-wise at first glance--what makes a relationship tick is not on the surface and can't be spelled out in numbers.

Gender Roles and Pacifiers

One of my coworkers deserves credit for taking what one might consider "gender role risks" in the eyes of today's society. She has a one-year-old son, and in addition to his "normal" boy toys, clothes, etc., she has bought him girls' clothes, a pink pacifier, she keeps his curls long, and she lets him play with dolls. Her family is (not surprisingly) more traditional in terms of their idea of what a male child should wear and play with, but that hasn't phased my friend so far, something for which I admire her.

After discussing her decisions and gender role formation, we agreed on a few points: number one, babies aren't attuned to fashion and don't know what they're wearing or drinking out of, nor do they particularly care what color it happens to be. Number two, female children seem to have a bit more leeway when it comes to what toys they can play with. No one would necessarily think twice about a little girl playing with some cars, although it could potentially turn some heads, but see a boy playing with a Barbie and all hell breaks loose. Number three, it appears that at least some and perhaps the majority of fears related to babies or children breaking with gender role norms stems from a fear of homosexuality. Until more research is produced that confirms that playing with dolls and the color pink don't correlate with femininity or homosexuality, we'll most likely still see discomfort with children straying from society's deeply ingrained gender roles, even at a very young age.

Deja Vu

"Already seen." Why does deja vu occur? What purpose does it serve? If something seems familiar, and yet you're sure that you've never seen it or done it before, did you experience it in a previous life? Did you experience it and somehow forget? Did you truly never experience it?

I took to Wikipedia and found an explanation that fits with my instincts about deja vu:

"Scientifically speaking, the most likely explanation of déjà vu is not that it is an act of "precognition" or "prophecy," but rather that it is an anomaly of memory, giving the impression that an experience is "being recalled." This explanation is substantiated by the fact that the sense of "recollection" at the time is strong in most cases, but that the circumstances of the "previous" experience (when, where, and how the earlier experience occurred) are quite uncertain. Likewise, as time passes, subjects can exhibit a strong recollection of having the "unsettling" experience of déjà vu itself, but little or no recollection of the specifics of the event(s) or circumstance(s) they were "remembering" when they had the déjà vu experience. In particular, this may result from an overlap between the neurological systems responsible for short-term memory (events which are perceived as being in the present) and those responsible for long-term memory (events which are perceived as being in the past). The events would be stored into memory before the conscious part of the brain even receives the information and processes it."

Even though this explanation seems spot on and perfectly logical, it's still fun to consider the possibility of previous lives and remembering experiences from past lifetimes in this current one we're living right now. Who knows?

Creak Creak

Today the floor of our apartment seems creakier than usual. Before I could prowl around like a silent predator without making a peep, and now I can't even tiptoe without advertising my position. It's almost as if someone snuck into the apartment and is playing mind games with me (like in the movie Amelie when she goes into the grocer's apartment and changes the doorknobs, lightbulbs, slippers, toothpaste, and so on until the grocer goes slowly insane).

Either my mind is playing tricks on me or very soon I'm going to be paying a visit to our downstairs neighbors via a hole in our floor...

The Gift of Gab

Today I was prepared to be an irate customer. I was woken up at 7 AM by the sound of our power going out...again. This happened one week ago, and has occurred pretty much like clockwork at least once a month, sometimes more. As I groggily dialed our provider's phone number and was waiting on hold, I thought back to the rather unfriendly customer service rep I had spoken to a week earlier who had instructed me to call back during regular hours and speak to a supervisor for more information on our frequent blackout situation. Boy, was I ready for a spat.

Imagine my surprise (and delight) when a cheery voice greeted me on the other end of the line. I grouchily asked right away to speak to a supervisor, as I had been directed to do. I was told in an even friendlier tone than before that Ms. Cheery Voice would be more than happy to handle my issue herself. Even after a few moments, I could tell that this person was in no way like the Crabby Appleton I had spoken to on the phone the previous weekend. Within minutes I was like putty in her hands. Not only did she register our complaint and forward it for further investigation (with a confirmation number and all), she turned what could have been a dreary start to the day into a pleasant beginning. We even discussed our weekends to fill the silence as she was filling in the form.

I like having these experiences because they remind me that there are clearly still people out there who appreciate good customer service and know exactly how to deliver it.

The Easy Way

Does taking the easy way always signify taking a shortcut or missing out on quality of experience? Often, when I think of doing things "the easy way," it's usually indicative of cutting corners, being lazy, or trying to get ahead fast without putting in the real character-building grunt work. Are there ever any instances where taking the easy road gets you where you need to go without sacrificing quality?

Taking the easy way does imply that there is less work involved, which evokes a sense of "cheating." For example, the easy way to an A on an exam would be to copy your neighbor's test. The more arduous, but fulfilling, road would require studying, memorizing, and a certain unquantifiable amount of effort (straining your neck to look at someone's answers does not qualify as effort, by the way). Thus, one benefits greatly in terms of knowledge and life experience when he or she puts in the longer hours and larger amounts of effort in order to reach a particular goal.

In other posts, I've established the concept that time is a precious commodity and one not to be wasted in a trivial fashion, so shouldn't we sometimes strive for a simpler way of doing things to capitalize on our time? For example, if I use Turbo Tax to calculate my taxes rather than duking it out with the paper versions, does that necessarily mean that I've missed out on a formative experience that will teach me valuable lessons? Doubtful. Anyone that wants to spend more time cuddling up to their taxes, other than you accountants out there, undoubtedly has a screw loose.

It seems, then, that taking "the easy way" is only detrimental if you're skipping over learning important life skills or trodding on general moral codes, and if you're doing both, you'd better take a closer look in the mirror.

Water Cooler Convos

Sometimes at my consulting job off-site (outside of my office) I hear the oddest snippets of conversation. One time, while the girl in the office next to me (whose voice carries quite a ways) was less than calmly putting the final touches on her wedding planning, an event that was scheduled for that weekend, I overheard her barking orders multiple times to someone to make sure her strapless bra was in a specific bag of hers. Is it just me, or was it never really appropriate to discuss your underwear loud enough for everyone else at work to hear? I decided things were probably getting down to the wire and Bridezilla was having her moment. I excused that one. But the middle-aged woman (whose voice also carries down the hall) talking about having sex with her husband? I might have to draw the line there. As thrilled as I am for her that she's still getting a piece now and then, I'd rather not have to hear about it. Am I right? Anyone? Bueller?

Sweet Tooth

Is it weird to feel like a meal isn't complete without something sweet to round it out? Is a lunch or dinner without dessert truly a satisfying course? My inclination is to say no, but there seem to be many out there that don't miss the sweet treat at the end of the meal. I wager it's all psychological, since from an early age dessert was a reward, often the highlight of the meal, the grand finale, the icing on the cake if you will. I know I'd be better off without it, but parting would be such sweet sorrow.

Best Quote in Awhile

My uncle, pointing to the Whole Foods near where my dad plays softball: "Is that the Whole Foods?"
My dad: "That's a Whole Foods."
My uncle: "A-hole Foods? What do they sell there?"

I'll never look at a Whole Foods (or should I say A-hole Foods) quite the same again...

World Cup Champion: Spain

Even though I'm not the biggest sports fan in the world, it would be kind of wrong not to dedicate this post to the new World Cup Champion, Spain (my husband would never let me hear the end of it if I didn't). It was a tough game, both in the sense of the level of aggression present on the field (there were 14 yellow cards, if that tells you anything), and also in terms of how enjoyable the play was. There was a lot of pushing, pulling, fouling and so on, which can detract from the game itself and cause a great deal of interruptions to the flow of the game. That being said, it was more than obvious that both teams were giving it their all, and the refereeing was surprisingly good compared to the other ref-related debacles that took place throughout the World Cup. I guess you have to leave it to those that invented the game to call a fair match (i.e. the British). The goal that won the game was a "golazo" as we like to say--in other words, an awesome goal, and at the end of the day, a team that had never won before got to take home the trophy, so what's not to like about that? Congratulations, Spain, you earned it! (I must admit that the best part of sports is the celebratory partying--why can't I be in Spain right now??)

Heart Rate Health Myths

When I was privileged enough to have a gym membership, I noticed something about some of the cardio machines, like the bikes, ellipticals, and treadmills: according to the different programs you can use on the machine for your workout, many of them indicated that to burn fat, your heart rate needed to plateau at a certain mid-range level. If it passed a certain rate, then you'd be doing cardio, creating muscle, and therefore would not be burning off fat. At least that was the old way of doing workouts. Now (according to my Jillian Michaels ridiculously intense dvd), that belief about maintaining a mid-range heart rate to burn fat "is a dinosaur." According to Ms. Michaels (and I'm inclined to believe her based on how buff she is), kicking up the heart rate to a high level with intense exercise will certainly burn fat, not just produce muscle under a layer of existing fat. Of course, one's diet plays a huge role in all of this. You can't expect to get fit if you're exercising your head off and eating an unbalanced diet. Clearly a combination of a balanced diet, especially rich in fruits and vegetables, and exercise is necessary to maintain a healthy lifestyle and even get fit in the process.

Odd

This may be a bit gross but I will proceed anyway: Today I examined a piece of my own skin that was peeling on my foot. After I removed it, I noticed just how intricate and strange it was. It was tough and had a funny texture, like thin plastic. It was slightly transparent, like slightly opaqued plastic wrap. The intricate lines that ran across the flap of skin were beautiful to behold and reminiscent of a fingerprint crossed with the veins of a leaf, giving the skin a manufactured and artistic look nothing akin to its natural origin. What was impressive still was the completely brand new skin that had formed to replace the old skin, serving as a reminder that the body is constantly changing, even if the naked eye doesn't always perceive the alterations and even if we feel that we're still "the same person." Funny how gross little tangents can remind us of bigger and lofty principles. :)

Summer in a Suit

Today on my way to work I saw two men entering a building in suits--slacks, long-sleeved button-down shirts, suit jackets and all. Unless they drove from their home directly to the office, which would still require some amount of walking outside because there were no underground garages for the building in which they were entering, I really can't comprehend how they didn't collapse from heat stroke right in the doorway. Just walking a few blocks in jeans and a tank top in the scorching sun and humidity-infused air made me want to throw up my hands and melt into a puddle of fluids in the middle of the sidewalk and slowly evaporate away during the course of the inferno-like day. Luckily I made it to my refrigerated office before such a notion took hold of me. Men may revel in how women manage to do certain things, like walk in high heels, get dolled-up, and juggle careers, households, and raising kids, but I'll just never be able to fathom how guys can walk around in summertime ostensibly dressed for the comings of winter.

Blast from the (Educational) TV Past

I'm not sure why this came to mind, but I started thinking about all the high quality educational programming there used to be for kids when I was a toddler and "spring chicken," and I wonder if today's shows for children are equivalent in content and caliber. My favorite programs included Reading Rainbow, Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego, Ghostwriter, Sesame Street, and Mr. Roger's Neighborhood. As far as I know, all of these shows except for Sesame Street have been discontinued, although some reruns may be on PBS from time to time. One of the major problems in maintaining these types of shows on the air is, without a doubt, funding.

What would be today's substitute for my beloved shows of yore? From what I've seen, Blue's Clues appears to be a worthy peer. I don't feel I can say the same for Teletubbies or Barney and Friends, two gag reflex-inducing excuses for shows. When I have little kids, I hope that there will be at least a few viable options for them to watch, be entertained, and learn information in a different visual format, and I also hope they'll be able to look back fondly at the educational programming of their childhood as I can.

The Pen is Mightier

Sometimes it's much more satisfying to write with pen and paper than on the computer. I often feel more connected to what I'm writing and the physical manifestation of the words when I'm scribbling on a pad of paper. It's fulfilling to see the transformation that takes place--concepts and words in the mind's eye that travel across synapses in the brain, down the arm to the hand, transferred to the pen clutched between the fingers, and finally onto the blank page, with signature twists, curls, and shapes that only handwritten words manifest. Writing on a computer is undoubtedly faster and more time-efficient, and I always recognize the words on the screen as my own, but there's no denying the sense of gratification that comes from seeing one's own inimitable words on paper.

Special Needs Animals

There's something about a three-legged dog that tugs at the heartstrings but that's also oddly inspiring as they run with a cute little bob to compensate for their missing limb. It seems like it's often more difficult for special needs animals, such as those that have had amputations, to get adopted, since they may not be what people had in mind when looking for a "new-used" pet. Still, if I were to adopt a dog, I think I'd go for a three-legged one first. They have a certain spirit about them that's a reminder that a dose of adversity shouldn't get in the way of bouncing back and enjoying the years of life that remain. Clearly humans and other animals have different ways of coping with psychological trauma and stress to the body, but it's wonderful to see when both people and animals are able to overcome those hardships and become whole again.

Happy 4th of July

It's easy to find fault with anything, even the country where you were born and raised. However, Fourth of July is a great opportunity to reflect on what makes America a wonderful place to live. While my parents, my husband and I were at a Fourth of July party, we went around in a circle saying what we like or love about America. A few of the things we came up with were: freedom of expression; a diverse population comprised of individuals from every corner of the planet; the rich variety of music that American produces; the ability to openly question the political system and system of governance; the range of beautiful environments and scenery from coast to coast.

When you think about America, what do you love about it?

Slumber Parties

I have many fond memories of childhood sleepovers with friends: snacks and junk food, movies, truth or dare, gossip and boy talk, and staying up late. College was basically one big sleepover, although having friends down the hall isn't exactly the same as all having a slumber party together in the same room. Post-graduation from college, I was afraid the days of sleepovers would be coming to an end. Imagine my surprise when I was invited to three sleepovers this year. One was a girls-only birthday sleepover and two were World Cup-related couples sleepovers. I feel like I'll never be too old for sleepovers, so I'm glad that some of my friends and family feel the same way.

Real Simple

I was recently introduced to a magazine I had never heard of called Real Simple. I like what I've seen of it so far. It contains creative uses for common household items, time-saving tips, essays and creative writing, a wealth of quick recipes including savory vegetarian dishes, and fashion and beauty tips. One particularly interesting article included 25 ways to boost your energy level, such as eating grapefruit in the morning, doing intervals of intense and moderate exercise, dimming the lights an hour or half hour before going to bed for more restful sleep, and more. So far I liked what this magazine has to offer. My hope is that throughout its issues it doesn't transform into helpful hints for Suzie Homemaker, but for now it seems more helpful than not. Perhaps I'll get a subscription at some point and report back.

Extreme Survival

There's an interesting show on Animal Planet called "I Shouldn't Be Alive" which details instances of survival in extreme situations in which most people would die. Often, the people featured in each episode survived not only because of their own intellect and instincts but also due to pure luck.

One man ended up in the middle of the ocean off of Costa Rica after inclement weather forced him and his friends to abandon the plane that was taking them out for a skydiving session. What ended up saving him in part was a piece of tree trunk that floated towards him. It allowed him to float, even fall asleep for a period of time, in the middle of the ocean, and overall save at least a little bit of his energy. Otherwise, he might have been dead when he was discovered by passing fisherman. Another interesting aspect of his story was how he flipflopped back and forth between wanting to die and feeling the urge to survive. His first hour in the water, he hoped that a shark would eat him and put him out of his misery. Drowning did not strike his fancy whatsoever. However, afterward he was gripped by an unshakable desire to survive and evade death. Then, after 24 hours in the ocean, severely dehydrated, hallucinating, and lacking even an ounce of energy, he resigned himself once again to his fate. Luckily, it was right then that he was saved by the fisherman. Luck came to his rescue again.

Another woman was a competitive athlete in the area of extreme sports. One day in winter while running in the badlands of Utah, she slipped and fell 20 feet, shattering her pelvis. Even so, she attempted to drag herself out of the canyon using only her forearms, an impossible task to be sure. She made little progress, and she was bleeding internally. She also knew that she could not afford to fall asleep once the sun set, despite extreme fatigue, because she would lose consciousness and die from hypothermia. She managed to stay alive throughout the cold nights that would have otherwise killed her by doing one crunch every five seconds until daylight. Imagine doing about 4,500 crunches with a broken pelvis and internal bleeding, no food and water, and unbearable cold. On top of that, she wasn't even able to urinate, since the urine would freeze in the cold night and also inevitably lead to hypothermia. What eventually saved her? Well, there was no way she was crawling out of the canyon on her forearms. What ended up saving her was a combination of factors: even though she was single and lived alone, her family realized she was missing and alerted the police. They sent out a search and rescue team. Her second saving grace was her dog, who had been her companion since he was a puppy. As she felt her life drawing to a close, her last hope lay in her dog. She begged him to go and find help. It was unclear to her whether he really understood what she was saying, but nonetheless he ran off. Not only did he manage to find his way out of the canyon and to the search party, but he succeeded in attracting their attention with his strange agitated behavior so that they followed him. He led them right to his master, and they saved her just in time.

A third extraordinary story focused on a British ex-soldier who decided to set out alone to climb the highest mountain in Romania. His original goal was to scale it in one day, since he was in peak physical condition. Clearly he didn't expect to fall victim to not one but two avalanches. He managed to avoid the first one without much harm, but the second one caused him to fall quite a great distance. He broke his leg, shattered his pelvis, and was also bleeding internally. Despite his horrific state, he needed to drag himself down the mountain and to the country road at the bottom. He had no food and water, and he couldn't drink the snow--because of its frozen state, it would dangerously lower his body temperature, risking death by hypothermia. Like the woman in Utah, he knew he couldn't risk falling asleep either, since his body would take over and he would lose consciousness. He made himself stay awake thinking about anything and everything, but mostly his family. During the day, he had to crawl at a snail's pace, and his body was in constant and excruciating pain. At one point, he felt that he didn't care to live anymore, and stopped. He must have fallen asleep, something that would have normally killed him. Why didn't he die? Good fortune had smiled upon him, and blanketed him in freshly fallen snow which insulated him, keeping him alive. When he awoke, he couldn't believe it, but he still felt hopeless. He had miles to go to reach the nearest town. Even though his mind had shut off and he had all but lost his will to live, his body urged him on. At that point, his body was a separate entity and it was bent on saving itself, even if the rest of him didn't care anymore. Somehow, he managed to make it to the road where he had been dropped off by a taxi two days before. He couldn't walk, and crawling on his forearms would take too long, since he was also bleeding to death both internally and externally. He found a large stick and used it as a crutch, making his way down the road until he came to a fork. He had no idea which road to take. He chose one, and felt elation when he saw a house in the distance, only to discover upon closer inspection that it was an abandoned barn. A blow like that would be hard to recover from, but this man had such a strong will that he turned back around, hobbled back to the fork in the road, took the other path, and finally made it to an inhabited house.

It's hard to believe there are people who have survived such adverse physical circumstances. It's a true testament to the human will to survive and the power of instincts, as well as a lesson to appreciate every day. I imagine that these people feel they were given a second chance at life, a feeling that most of us will never experience, and it must make them examine every day in a different light--a more appreciative light.